We've all seen the Sarah McLachlan commercials about animal cruelty. It takes a terrible person to not tear up a little bit when that song kicks in and the sad pathetic cats and dogs show up on screen. Thankfully, I am just one of those people. I realize that it's sad that these animals don't have homes, but why would I want a retarded pet? Raising a dog is enough work as it, let alone trying to control one that has issues. You know who else is pathetic and could really use a home? Homeless people. I don't see Sarah McGuiltTrip trying to get me to adopt a bum. It would be a better investment too because hypothetically they can become self-sustaining after a while. Which brings me to my next point - don't help hipsters.
Hipsters are essentially bums, only worse. They look and smell homeless, but they are too lazy to beg for money. If you've been with The Skinny for awhile, you know that I like when a guy at least tries to earn his spare change, so a hobo without a talent doesn't deserve squat from me. If I had my way, I would force every hipster to sit down with my dead grandfather and get lectured about the importance of having a job and being a contributing member of society.
About a month ago, I wrote a satirical article for Guyism outline drink ordering etiquette. Much like that article, this video is the opposite of what you should do.
Twist of the ironic mustache to Bryn for this one.
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